I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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