I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
