With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
