her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
