What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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