I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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