It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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