Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
