Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Someone came in the potted fern
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
