I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
