I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
