I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
