im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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