She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize