Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
