ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
