either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
