What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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