I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
