In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
