ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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