I'm going to jail i love you
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
