so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize