8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dicks are not precious.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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