I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
