I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My feet surprised me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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