My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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