i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
