the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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