Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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