I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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