Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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