Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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