I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
