Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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