Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
false alarm, still single
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize