every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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