I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
