Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
