How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
