i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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