i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
