there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
