I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
