you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
