She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
