Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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