Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
