i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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