Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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