Banned from zoo.
Again?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
