lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize