What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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