what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
