He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
