He had one of those small greek statue penises
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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