U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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