The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize