the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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