yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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