Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
