if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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