what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
