so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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