i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
