Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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