I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize